Clearly I'm willing to tackle the real issues.
I see "health-conscious" people eating popcorn all the time. Weight Watchers even condones eating popcorn. I've got a newsflash for you people - even without the exorbitant amounts of butter and salt that make popcorn what it's supposed to be (delicious), it's not a healthy snack. For that matter, neither are rice cakes. I know what you're thinking, "Who is this guy who spits in the face of science?" Before you tie me to a boulder and toss me in the lake to see if I sink, thus rendering my teachings true, let me explain a few things to you about the process of digestion.
When you eat carbohydrates, your body turns them into glucose. Yep, since it ends in -ose, that means it's a sugar. So the more carbohydrates you eat, the more sugar your body gets. The more sugar being produced, the more insulin is released to move the sugar to storage (i.e., fat cells). After taking care of all the glucose, the insulin's still hanging around, desperate for more. In other words, you get a sugar craving. You may be able to withstand that craving, and kudos to you if so, but since you seem to think popcorn is healthy, you may also think it's fine to satisfy your sugar craving by sucking three pounds of melted chocolate through a pixie stick.
How do you curb the insulin overload? Eat foods that take longer to be turned into glucose. This is why a lot of health nuts protest white bread. It's been crushed and processed and the moment it hits your lips, it turns into sugar (not unlike the belief in transubstantiation...). Multi-grain breads and wheat breads are generally healthier because the carbs haven't been broken down yet. Popcorn and rice cakes have been purposely exploded. That means it's about as hard for your body to turn them into sugar as it is for Charlie Sheen to say something that doesn't make any sense.
So when you eat popcorn, it becomes insta-glucose. Which means a serious spike in insulin. Which not only makes you sleepy, it also strengthens the craving for food, specifically sugary foods. Popcorn is a gateway to eating more, especially more sugar.
Still sound healthy to you? I didn't think so.
Check out the glycemic index. Popcorn's ranked higher (worse for you) than SUGAR. That's comparing 2 cups of popcorn to a tablespoon of sugar. So if you sit down and eat a bag of microwave popcorn, it actually would have been healthier to pour yourself two tablespoons of sugar straight.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Stuck in traffic?
First of all, welcome to my new blog. I have started this because I have a lot of pet peeves. I hope I can use this as a means of educating those people who have not yet fully understood how to live in society. Frankly, most of them should be grateful that whole "survival of the fittest" thing isn't being applied today. With any luck, I'll add a pinch of humor so the rest of us can enjoy the blog.
Today I got stuck in traffic. For everybody who commutes to work, this same event happens twice a day, five days a week. That's almost as many times as you eat meals on those days. Depending on how quickly you eat, on any day when you're stuck in traffic, you spend more time wedged between cars than you do eating.
My concern here is not with traffic in general. It's a fact of life. My concern is with the people that cause more traffic. They are essentially saying, "I don't care where you want to go or how soon you want to get there. Your destination arrival time does not solely depend on how early you leave - it also depends on ME."
There are a lot of ways people cause traffic to be worse and even more heinous than it already is. I'm only going to focus on one today:
LEAVING A TON OF SPACE BETWEEN YOUR CAR AND THE ONE IN FRONT OF YOU.
I know, satellites have been dropping out of the sky lately, but even if one plummeted down to earth, intent on hitting your rear bumper and slamming you into the car in front of you, chances are you wouldn't be held accountable for not leaving enough room between the two cars. Besides, if Hollywood has taught us anything, it's that most satellites are the harbingers of superhuman powers. So you'll soon be able to fly, shoot lasers from your fingertips, and/or eat Eggos so fast your hand becomes a blur. With those powers, you can afford a little fender-bender.
The problem is you're not thinking about the people behind you. And not just the car you can see in your rear-view mirror - what about the guy three cars back who can't make it through the stoplight because you're taking up seventeen Hummers worth of space in your lane? How about the guy behind him, who just wants to turn right at the light, but is stuck because of your inability to think of anything or anyone that is not within a 6-inch radius of you?
Are you sending a text to a friend? Plugging in your GPS because you forgot how to get home even though you've driven this same route of traffic every weekday for three years straight? Just plain distracted by thoughts of how in the world the Joker got away from Batman in The Dark Knight when Batman jumped out the window to save Rachel at the party and ended up at the front door of the same building? (Holy revolving doors, Batman! That Joker's a sly one.)
Whatever the reason, pull forward! I'm not asking for you to kiss bumpers. Move forward as far as you're comfortable. But if there's more than three feet between vehicles, I'm going to walk up with measuring tape, show you the ridiculous amount of space you're wasting, and kick your hubcap.
Today I got stuck in traffic. For everybody who commutes to work, this same event happens twice a day, five days a week. That's almost as many times as you eat meals on those days. Depending on how quickly you eat, on any day when you're stuck in traffic, you spend more time wedged between cars than you do eating.
My concern here is not with traffic in general. It's a fact of life. My concern is with the people that cause more traffic. They are essentially saying, "I don't care where you want to go or how soon you want to get there. Your destination arrival time does not solely depend on how early you leave - it also depends on ME."
There are a lot of ways people cause traffic to be worse and even more heinous than it already is. I'm only going to focus on one today:
LEAVING A TON OF SPACE BETWEEN YOUR CAR AND THE ONE IN FRONT OF YOU.
I know, satellites have been dropping out of the sky lately, but even if one plummeted down to earth, intent on hitting your rear bumper and slamming you into the car in front of you, chances are you wouldn't be held accountable for not leaving enough room between the two cars. Besides, if Hollywood has taught us anything, it's that most satellites are the harbingers of superhuman powers. So you'll soon be able to fly, shoot lasers from your fingertips, and/or eat Eggos so fast your hand becomes a blur. With those powers, you can afford a little fender-bender.
The problem is you're not thinking about the people behind you. And not just the car you can see in your rear-view mirror - what about the guy three cars back who can't make it through the stoplight because you're taking up seventeen Hummers worth of space in your lane? How about the guy behind him, who just wants to turn right at the light, but is stuck because of your inability to think of anything or anyone that is not within a 6-inch radius of you?
Are you sending a text to a friend? Plugging in your GPS because you forgot how to get home even though you've driven this same route of traffic every weekday for three years straight? Just plain distracted by thoughts of how in the world the Joker got away from Batman in The Dark Knight when Batman jumped out the window to save Rachel at the party and ended up at the front door of the same building? (Holy revolving doors, Batman! That Joker's a sly one.)
Whatever the reason, pull forward! I'm not asking for you to kiss bumpers. Move forward as far as you're comfortable. But if there's more than three feet between vehicles, I'm going to walk up with measuring tape, show you the ridiculous amount of space you're wasting, and kick your hubcap.
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